Psychological injuries received in childhood can affect our whole fate. But do not despair – we are able to correct the situation. We tell you how to heal mental wounds and change the trajectory of your life path.
Tiktok users launched a trend, during which they share the results of the test “What wounds prevent you from being themselves” with the hashtags #test aid and #testamasis.
We have already talked about the theory of five children’s injuries of the Canadian psychologist Liz Bourbo. But the theory is not enough – now let’s move on to practice!
After all, realizing our deep injuries, we often find ourselves in confusion and do not know what to do. Our first reaction is the desire to get rid of them as soon as possible. But do not immediately succumb to the impulse.
“The desire to immediately get rid of injuries is a sign of rejection, not accepting. It can be compared with how a person seeks to get rid of excess weight: instead of accepting, he rejects himself. We already know: if we manage to “get rid” of something or from someone (if our desire is connected with rejection), then this is temporary and the situation will repeat with even greater force-perhaps in a different form, but we will still besuffer from this, ”explains Liz Bourbo.
She claims that our ego – selfless and capricious – creates protective masks, reacting to a spiritual wound. These masks are designed to protect us from pain caused by injury.
“The ego constantly tries to fix,“ freeze ”the course of events, denying changes by any possible ways. His characteristic feature is suffering, ”the psychologist emphasizes. According to Bourbo, in order to begin the healing process from injuries, it is primarily important to realize how great the influence of the ego in our life.
How an injury occurs?
This usually happens in four stages.
1. Initially, the child perceives the world clearly and uncomplicated, Accepting all your needs and needs. He can just be himself.
2. Soon he realizes that his natural behavior often causes discontent surrounding adults. He experiences pain due to the fact that he is forbidden to be the way he is.
3. The pain often causes protest, RUFT AND FLOWS OF Aggression.
4. To alleviate suffering, the child changes his personality, adapt to the requirements of others.
It is in the last two stages that protective masks arise. Often they repeat the masks of our parents, and because of this, hidden grievances are formed at them. Subconsciously we want to have other examples to follow.
“The most important thing for the healing of injuries is to accept them, stop being angry with them and realize that our ego creates these masks out of the best motives – trying to protect us from pain,” emphasizes Liz Bourbo.
At the same time, the healing process also takes place in four stages, returning us contact with our
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true “I”:
1. Everything begins with the awareness of protective masks, which we wear.
2. We have an internal protest, We refuse to take responsibility, we begin to blame others in our suffering.
3. Then we give ourselves the right to feel the whole depth of our pain and resentment for one or both parents. Remembering how we suffered in childhood, we are imbued with sympathy for our inner child. And the greater compassion we notice, the more we can change. In addition, we begin to more emphasize the suffering of our parents and forgive them.
4. We finally become ourselves again. We feel that we no longer need to wear masks to protect ourselves. We are aware that life is infinitely diverse and any new experience gives us the opportunity to learn something. Now we are able to truly love ourselves.
Having removed the protective mask, we find that it hid many of our strengths. For each mask they are their own. And now they will finally be able to fully open up.